Humans are undeniably social creatures. We form bonds, fall in love, and even share streaming passwords. Yet, we’re also capable of creating chaos and confusion in the minds of others. Psychologically speaking, what are the worst things one person can do to another? Here are five.
1. Gaslighting
Imagine someone systematically convincing you that your memory is unreliable, your feelings are invalid, and your perception of reality is skewed. This is gaslighting a form of psychological manipulation where one person deliberately plants doubt in another’s mind, causing them to question their memory, perception, and even sanity.
The term comes from the 1944 movie 'Gaslight', where a husband tricks his wife into thinking she is going crazy. In toxic relationships, this tactic has unfortunately become common. It’s a cruel form of emotional abuse because it undermines the foundation of an individual’s reality.
In extreme cases, a gaslighter may make the victim believe they fabricated entire events, leading to emotional confusion and self-doubt. Victims often ask themselves, 'Did I really say that? Am I overreacting?' The truth is, they aren’t. Gaslighting is a powerful tool of emotional manipulation because it erodes self-trust, leaving the victim dependent on the manipulator’s version of “truth.”
2. Love Bombing
If gaslighting is a slow, calculated strategy, love bombing is an explosive, immediate attack. Love bombing occurs when someone floods you with excessive attention, affection, and compliments in the early stages of a relationship to gain control. At first, it’s all grand gestures and over-the-top displays of affection. But the aim isn’t genuine love, it’s manipulation.
Once you’re hooked on the dopamine rush, the affection diminishes, leaving you craving the attention like an addict seeking their next fix. This psychological strategy is often used in toxic relationships and even in recruiting for cults (yes, cults use love bombing, too).
The manipulator creates a cycle of extreme highs and crushing lows, fostering an emotional rollercoaster that leaves the victim dependent and easy to control. If a relationship seems to be moving at lightning speed, it’s a red flag worth heeding.
3. Guilt-Tripping
Guilt. It’s that sinking feeling when you accidentally step on your pet’s tail or eat the last slice of pizza without sharing. However, in the hands of a manipulator, guilt becomes a weapon. Emotional blackmail occurs when someone uses guilt to pressure you into doing what they want, making you feel responsible for their happiness or more often, their misery.
Phrases like, '“After everything I’ve done for you…”' or '“If you really loved me, you would…”' are classic emotional blackmail lines. The goal? To trap you in a web of obligation, where your fear of guilt makes you easier to manipulate.
Manipulators subtly shift the blame onto you for their problems, ensuring you’re too entangled in guilt to recognize what’s really happening. Over time, this tactic can make you feel trapped and powerless.
4. Triangulation
Triangulation is a toxic relationship tactic that feels straight out of a high school drama. It occurs when someone involves a third party in a conflict or relationship dynamic to maintain control. It’s as if the manipulator is directing their own soap opera, casting others as unwitting participants.
Triangulation fuels drama by turning friends against each other or bringing an ex into a current relationship. The genius (or cruelty) of triangulation lies in its ability to create jealousy, competition, and confusion.
Instead of addressing the manipulator’s behavior, the victim often becomes distracted by the third party, seeking validation or approval. Meanwhile, the manipulator quietly enjoys the chaos they’ve orchestrated. Triangulation is a favorite tactic of narcissists and individuals with high-conflict personalities because it destabilizes relationships and keeps everyone guessing.
5. Silent Treatment
Sometimes, the most damaging thing someone can do is…nothing. The silent treatment might seem like a petty response to conflict, but it’s a devastating psychological weapon. By refusing to communicate, the manipulator effectively “punishes” the victim, withholding attention and affection until they comply.
The silent treatment creates an emotional void, leaving the victim guessing what went wrong and desperately seeking resolution. This tactic preys on our innate need for connection and belonging. It sends the message that the victim is invisible, unworthy of attention, or undeserving of value.
Research shows that being ignored activates the same brain regions associated with physical pain. Put simply, the silent treatment hurts more than words ever could because it’s the complete lack of communication.
Conclusion
The worst forms of manipulation are those that unravel our sense of self, making us question our worth, reality, and relationships. Whether it's gaslighting, love bombing, or emotional manipulation, the main goal is always control.
However, recognizing these tactics for what they are is the first step toward regaining your power. By asserting boundaries and refusing to engage in these psychological games, you can protect yourself from manipulation. In a world full of controllers, knowledge is your greatest defense.