Marriage is fascinating. Two independent individuals meet, fall in love, and agree to share their lives, challenges, and victories for the rest of their journey together.
But what ordinary yet unique aspects of marriage can teach us about relationships?
1. Attraction to a Partner’s Natural Scent
Did you know that scent plays a significant role in whom we find attractive? A study by Charles Spence revealed that pleasant smells can influence how appealing we find someone. Participants exposed to agreeable scents rated faces as more attractive.
Interestingly, this connection goes deeper: our genetic makeup also influences attraction. Research suggests that people are naturally drawn to partners with a different genetic profile from their own.
Why does this matter?
Our genetics determine many traits, including immunity to certain illnesses and inherited strengths or vulnerabilities. If we choose a partner with similar genetics, we risk passing down identical strengths and weaknesses to our children. For example, a child might excel in math but inherit the same allergies as both parents.
On the other hand, pairing with someone who has different traits can result in more resilient offspring due to a broader genetic mix.
This connection may explain why relationships often feel "meant to be" /as if they were predetermined by biology. Furthermore, the study found that couples who share similar preferences for scents often report higher satisfaction in their relationship.
Could the right fragrance enhance your marriage? If both partners enjoy a scent equally, it might be worth exploring.
2. Familiarity Breeds Affection
Have you ever disliked a song initially, only to love it after hearing it repeatedly? Love can work the same way, according to psychologist Robert Zajonc’s 'Mere Exposure Effect'.
This theory suggests that the more familiar you are with a person, place, or thing, the more likely you are to feel positive about it. Familiarity creates a sense of safety and comfort, making your surroundings and relationships feel more predictable and secure.
This principle also applies to your spouse. Over time, as you grow more familiar with each other, your bond can deepen because of this sense of comfort and trust.
3. Knowing Each Other Less Over Time
Surprisingly, the longer couples are together, the less they may truly know about each other. A study led by psychologist Robert Waldinger had couples watch recordings of themselves during arguments and predict their partner's thoughts. The results showed that the longer couples had been together, the more they assumed they understood their partner and the less accurate they were.
This highlights the importance of staying curious about your partner as they grow and evolve. Do you know your spouse as they were when you first met, or do you understand who they are today?
Continuously learning about your partner’s current thoughts, dreams, and needs fosters a deeper connection and mutual respect.
4. Perceived Commitment Influences Happiness
How much we believe our partner is committed to us can significantly impact our happiness. A study by Samantha Joel and colleagues surveyed 12,000 couples and found that the best predictor of marital satisfaction (accounting for 45% of overall happiness) was the belief that one’s partner is deeply committed and invested in the relationship.
Even small feelings of unequal commitment where one partner feels more devoted than the other can lead to dissatisfaction.
To build a stronger connection, focus on openly expressing your commitment and appreciation for each other.
5. Doubts Before Marriage Are Normal
Feeling unsure before tying the knot? You’re not alone. Research from the Gottman Institute shows that 66% of couples experience doubts before their wedding day. However, these doubts don’t necessarily predict marital trouble.
What truly matters is how couples address their concerns. Talking openly about any reservations can strengthen the relationship and create a deeper sense of connection.
By communicating honestly, you can address potential challenges and build a stronger foundation for your future together.
Final Thoughts
Marriage, love, and life are filled with quirks, surprises, and unexpected lessons. Be kind to yourself and your relationship. And remember to embrace and appreciate the unique traits that make each of you special.