There are two types of happiness, but only one leads to lasting joy. Most of us get stuck in the first type and miss out on the second, which leaves us with lower levels of well being. The good news? You can change that.
Short Term Happiness
Short term happiness involves things like sex, drugs, and wild parties. It includes all the pleasures we get from the senses things like food, money, and even fame and popularity. These experiences give us a quick boost, but soon after, we’re left wanting more.
We often think of happiness as something connected to pleasure, imagining it as a series of fun, exciting, or indulgent moments. While this kind of happiness can bring bursts of joy, let’s be honest: these moments don’t last. Once the excitement wears off, we’re back to searching for the next thrill whether it’s from our favorite movie or an amazing meal caught on the "pleasure treadmill" of chasing temporary joys.
We’re also sold the idea that happiness can be bought that a new gadget or luxury vacation will fill the emptiness. But people in more materialistic societies often report feeling less happy, sometimes even more depressed. This highlights the downside of quick happiness: while it’s appealing, it often leaves you feeling empty once the joy fades away. So, how can we bring more lasting happiness into our lives?
The Depth of Long Term Happiness
Long term happiness shifts the focus from personal pleasure to something greater connection, service, and a sense of purpose. This kind of happiness nourishes us and contributes to a lasting sense of fulfillment.
Giving to others can increase well being even more than spending money on ourselves. A well known study published in 'Science' by Professor Elizabeth Dunn from the University of British Columbia found that participants who were given money and people who were asked to spend money on others felt much happier than those who spent it on themselves. Neuroscience research by Jordan Grafman and others also shows that giving can be more satisfying than receiving.
This holds true even for young children! A study by Lara Aknin and her team at the University of British Columbia found that children as young as two are happier when they share treats with others instead of just receiving them. Interestingly, this trend is seen across different cultures, regardless of a country's wealth. Another study found a strong connection between money spent on others and personal happiness regardless of income, social support, freedom, or even government corruption.
The Power of Kindness
Long-term happiness doesn’t mean you have to spend money on others. Any form of help or support can contribute to this kind of happiness. One reason kindness boosts our well being is that it helps shift our focus away from ourselves. Research shows that depression and anxiety are often linked to self centered thinking a constant focus on "me and only me." When you do something for someone else, that self focus turns into a focus on others. Think back to the last time you helped someone; chances are, it made you feel good, no matter how you were feeling before.
Kindness also strengthens our sense of connection with others. A study showed that not having social connections is worse for your health than being obese, smoking, or having high blood pressure. Those who feel more connected to others experience less anxiety and depression and have better self esteem. They tend to be more compassionate, trusting, and cooperative, creating a positive cycle of emotional, physical, and social well being.
A study by Barbara Fredrickson and Steve Cole uncovered a fascinating insight: people who get happiness mainly from short term pleasures have inflammation levels similar to those experiencing chronic stress. On the other hand, those who find joy through meaningful connections and a sense of purpose what we call long term happiness have much lower inflammation levels. This suggests that deeper happiness provides a protective effect on our overall well being.
Finding Your Balance
Think of happiness like a meal: a rich dessert may bring immediate pleasure, but a nutritious meal leaves you feeling energized and satisfied. If we chase only temporary pleasures, we might feel a quick burst of energy but end up feeling drained afterward. Long term happiness, on the other hand, brings a deeper joy that lasts.
Research by Ryff and Singer (2008) shows that combining both short-term and long term happiness in our lives leads to better mental health and life satisfaction. They suggest that balancing these two types of happiness enhances our overall well being, creating a fuller, richer experience of life. Both short-term and long term happiness have their place; they enrich our lives in different ways, and finding the right balance is key.
Simple Steps to Grow Meaning
1. Connect with Loved Ones: Make time for family and friends. Share valuable conversations and experiences that build stronger connections.
2. Give Back: Look for opportunities to serve your community. Volunteering can bring a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment.
3. Explore Spirituality: Whether through organized religion, personal reflection, or an appreciation of nature and art, nurturing your spiritual side can add depth to your life.
4. Practice Gratitude: Regularly think about what you’re thankful for. This shift in focus can help you appreciate what matters most.
5. Seek Growth: Invest in self discovery and personal growth. Engage in activities that push you and give you a feeling of achievement.
Embracing a Balanced View of Happiness
Experience the excitement of joy and the depth of purpose. By finding this balance, you can guide your journey toward happiness, building a life that’s both enjoyable and truly rewarding.