We are at a critical juncture in history, with the unprecedented possibility of electing the first Black woman as President of the United States. If you’ve been following the news, you’ve witnessed the flood of criticism directed at Kamala Harris, the current Vice President and a presidential candidate. The debate about her qualifications is strong, highlighting broader social concerns.
Black women, often called upon to build, sustain, and protect essential institutions, embody a profound resilience that is frequently underestimated. Their leadership and perseverance are undeniable, despite facing the dual burden of racial and gender-based discrimination. Black women in the United States face unique challenges due to the intersection of race and gender, significantly affecting their mental health, as observed by Castelin and White (2022).
The "Black tax" refers to the additional burdens that Black individuals especially women must bear, often having to work harder and contribute more to prove their worth, frequently without acknowledgment of the personal sacrifices involved (Walton, Blakey, and Campbell, 2021). This dynamic underscores the societal expectation of the "Strong Black Woman," a stereotype demanding unyielding strength, caregiving, and nurturing. Media portrayals often reinforce these expectations, casting Black women as either the "mammy" or the resilient, successful figure holding everything together despite relentless microaggressions and marginalization.
However, the pressure to embody strength can have severe mental health consequences. The stress, anxiety, and depression stemming from this expectation can lead to serious mental health issues, including suicidal thoughts. Studies show that Black women are at a higher risk of post-traumatic stress disorder than their White counterparts, and systemic racism compounds risks for chronic conditions like hypertension and diabetes (Castelin and White, 2022). Coping mechanisms such as emotional avoidance, self-silencing, and maladaptive performance can further exacerbate these issues.
We hear about these things, but do we really understand them?
Perfectionism, an ingrained pressure for flawless performance, is an unattainable ideal that demands a significant emotional cost. Perfectionist tendencies may manifest as procrastination, waiting for ideal conditions, or appearing inauthentic. It reminds me of a quote by Lupita Nyong'o: "Perfection is just a myth." I believe the closest thing to perfection is authenticity." Operating in an exaggerated identity or hiding who you are can hinder growth and limit your unique voice and experiences from being shared, obstructing your ability to build genuine community and collaboration.
Recognizing when to pause and care for oneself, as demonstrated by Simone Biles during the Tokyo Olympics, is crucial. As highlighted in episode 254 of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast with Dr. Joy Harden suggests that striving for perfection isn't always essential or healthy. Instead, focusing on doing your best offers a more sustainable and balanced approach. Sometimes, we may even need to avoid the relentless pursuit of "Black excellence" because it can create unrealistic expectations, especially if that is not a priority for you. Pressures from the community, and family can impose unwanted expectations on oneself. Some people believe that taking a step back shows weakness or could put their position at risk. However, it is essential to rethink your approach to perfectionism. Consider what this pursuit truly offers you and how it shapes others' perceptions of you.
Some reflection questions include:
- What does perfectionism really do for you?
- What narrative does perfectionism create about your self-worth?
- How do you feel when you say "no"?
- What do I think others perceive about me when I am unable to complete a task?
- Are there some alternatives to my current methods and approaches that I can try this week?