To Elder Women Looking for Men on Dating Sites, Be Cautious

That person you fell for? He might not be who he says he is and may not even be real. I hate to break it to you, but that person you met online, the one you fell in love with despite never meeting in person the one who wants to take care of you, recognizes how amazing, vibrant, fit, and beautiful you are, and claims to be incredibly wealthy is likely out to scam you out of your hard-earned savings. Say no and block them. Get support from friends, cry on their shoulders, or seek a therapist's help. You're not alone, and recovering from a broken heart is easier than losing your life savings.


According to the FBI, complaints from people over 60 about senior fraud increased by 14% in 2023 compared to 2022. Seniors are being scammed at an alarming rate, with women particularly at risk. These scams go far beyond the classic scenario of a man looking for a nurse or a wallet. These are genuine criminals. That person you "met" on a dating app—the wealthy, educated one who claims to own multiple homes and yachts and fell for you instantly, making you feel like a joyful teenager? He's manipulating you. The one who says he lives in a wealthy community among other millionaires, with photos taken next to a mansion, a Rolls Royce, and at a concert opening, claiming to have dated celebrities and wanting to marry you without ever meeting in person? None of that is true. He doesn't live there, doesn't own the Rolls, and borrowed the tuxedo because he never needed to wear one. Those misleading photos were taken or photoshopped just for his profile.


He might not even be a real person but a bot, with photos created and maintained by scammers. Wealthy men don't use dating sites; they hire someone to introduce them to wealthy potential partners. Take 10 minutes to appreciate the fun of being admired and swept off your feet. Then block the scammer and start looking for a real partner whose company you enjoy. You can fall in love with someone whose claims are genuine and modest.


Your story might be slightly different, with various details. He might claim to be religious or that his wealth was earned through his past job as a minister or in law enforcement. He owns a business overseas and wants to take you to Paris on his next trip. Whatever you do, don't give or send money, buy anything, or invest according to his advice. Even if he is temporarily short on cash but says he has millions in assets, don't part with a penny of your hard-earned savings. Even when his car (or plane) breaks down on the way to meet you, his wallet is stolen, and he says he needs your credit card to pay for repairs—say no. Don't give him your password or PIN. If he says he can't be your partner unless you invest with him, end the conversation immediately and block him. Report him in solidarity with others he might try to scam.


Here are some examples of fraudulent messages from someone you’ve never met:

  • "I'm finally ending my search; you are that special person."
  • "Where have you been all my life?"
  • "Your profile tells me you are just the person I'm looking for."
  • "You are everything I’ve dreamed of."
  • And the most common and generic of all, "You have a great smile."


Note that none of these are unique to you. They could be sent to anyone and have probably been sent to dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of potential victims. If you receive one of these generic messages, delete it immediately and block the sender. If you can't stop yourself from responding, write back and let the sender know you only respond to messages that are specific to you and show the person took the time to read your profile.


Keep your dignity. And keep your life savings. Wait patiently for the love you deserve and don't fall for someone who says he’s fallen for you when he doesn't even know who you are he’ll turn out to be a greedy fraudster.


A woman recently reported that around 25-30% of the men who contact her on dating apps turn out to be scammers. The dating apps later tell her in a message: "Sorry, hope you didn't get scammed; that person is a fraudster."


If the dating site tells you the person is a scammer and he tells you they’re wrong, contact the dating site and ask how they make those decisions.


Best of luck in finding love, and take your time. There is someone out there for you.

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