Narcissism is a highly debated topic in psychology. The term originates from the Greek myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with his reflection in the water and ultimately perished because he couldn't leave it.
The concept of narcissism gained traction in psychology in the early 20th century. Freud suggested that a certain level of self-love is natural in infants, necessary for survival. Problems arise when individuals fail to progress beyond this stage, leading to what Freud termed "primary narcissism." Ideally, this stage should evolve into a healthy self-esteem that forms the foundation of our self-worth and identity.
Freud believed that a healthy amount of self-esteem is crucial for a positive outlook on life. Building on Freud’s theories, other psychoanalysts identified an early life phase where children exhibit an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Over time, this should transform into a more realistic self-perception. Families play a crucial role in guiding children from healthy self-esteem to a balanced sense of self-worth.
Narcissism wasn’t recognized as a psychological disorder until 1980 when the creators of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) included it as a formal term. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by behaviors such as extreme arrogance, a need for excessive admiration, and sensitivity to criticism. In the DSM revision scheduled for 2013, there was debate about removing NPD as a distinct diagnosis. However, a strong push from clinicians kept it in the manual.
Beyond the diagnostic debates, narcissism remains a focus in personality and abnormal psychology. A recent issue of the Journal of Clinical Psychology: In Session, edited by Dr. Donna Rockwell (2012), features papers that enhance our understanding of how narcissism is perceived and treated. Rockwell’s summary provides a concise overview of the current status of NPD and its social and cultural implications. Key facts about narcissism include:
1. Defining Narcissism is Challenging: There is no consensus on how to define narcissism. While the myth of Narcissus is clear, the psychological specifics are complex and difficult to measure. Common traits include exaggerated self-importance, fantasies of unlimited power, belief in being special, a need for admiration, exploitation of others, lack of empathy, envy, and arrogance. These negative traits pose a diagnostic challenge, as they may reflect biases against working with narcissistic individuals. New DSM criteria aim to describe narcissism in more neutral terms like personality, empathy, intimacy, and self-direction, allowing for a more nuanced diagnosis.
2. Healthy Narcissism Exists: A degree of narcissism is normal and even beneficial early in life. Suppressing all forms of narcissism, especially in children, could prevent them from developing a healthy self-esteem. Children with a solid foundation of self-worth, often established through early positive reinforcement, grow into adults with a realistic self-view. Humanistic psychologists like Carl Rogers emphasize the importance of "unconditional positive regard" in parenting, helping children accept themselves rather than constantly striving to meet external expectations.
3. Narcissism is Not All-or-Nothing: The DSM’s consideration of a dimensional approach to NPD reflects the understanding that narcissism exists on a spectrum. Mental health professionals may be more accepting of clients with narcissistic traits if they see these traits as varying in intensity. For individuals, recognizing that they might exhibit some narcissistic tendencies doesn’t mean they are beyond help. Viewing narcissism dimensionally suggests people can improve their empathy and reduce attention-seeking behaviors through life experiences.
4. Social and Familial Influences: Rockwell highlights that narcissistic behavior often stems from insufficient attention and acceptance during childhood, rather than inherent flaws. Those with narcissistic tendencies may have developed them as a defense against feelings of inadequacy and rejection. Their outward arrogance masks deep insecurities, making them constantly seek validation. In extreme cases, their real self becomes indistinguishable from their ideal self, and they only seek approval from those who meet their high standards, leading to difficulties in forming genuine relationships.
5. Narcissism in Modern Society: Narcissism appears to be increasing, potentially fueled by a culture focused on self-promotion and instant gratification through social media. Christopher Lasch’s 1979 book "The Culture of Narcissism" argued that Western individualism encourages the pursuit of personal happiness above all else, making it harder to care for others. The prevalence of reality TV and social media amplifies self-centered behavior. Rockwell notes that NPD diagnoses are becoming more common among young adults, raising questions about whether society is fostering narcissistic tendencies.
Practical Applications
Understanding narcissism can help you navigate relationships and interactions with narcissistic individuals. Recognizing that many narcissists are deeply insecure can foster empathy and reduce frustration. It’s important to remember that people can change, especially with support and a sense of security. While dealing with narcissistic behavior can be challenging, putting it into perspective can help you feel less personally affected.
Therapy can help narcissistic individuals develop empathy, reduce self-criticism, and connect with their vulnerable feelings. Although severe narcissism may be shaped by early experiences, appropriate interventions can mitigate these traits and promote healthier relationships.