As I write this article, I am seven months pregnant with my sixth child. Discussing childbirth fills me with both deep concern and great hope, as I see a growing recognition of women's needs and rights during this critical time.
Parents should view childbirth as a crucial parenting decision they should not take lightly. Research indicates that the way we give birth can significantly impact the postpartum period in both positive and negative ways (Ayers and Sawyer 2014; Boundaries 2006). I have been fortunate to experience positive births and joyful postpartum periods, and I believe being knowledgeable about my body, the birth process, and exploring alternatives has been crucial in this journey. I feel closer to my children and can share with them the joy and peace that accompanied their entry into the world, rather than telling them how painful it was. How we bring our children into the world matters, and that is why I want to share my story.
How It All Began
My journey to home birth began many years ago when I was pregnant with our first child. As I started attending doctor’s appointments, I quickly found the impersonal environment confusing. Nobody ever inquired about my eating habits, sleep routine, or how I handle stress. These were all things I knew were important for our health. Why wasn’t this a concern? After a few visits, I realized the focus was on risk and symptom management, not on prevention and empowering me to support the health of my own pregnancy. I was completing my doctorate at that time, so I decided to learn as much as I could.
Realizing that this life would have to emerge from my body, I began watching birth videos and every birth show available. This was a terrible idea. I witnessed only emergencies, loud screams, and intense stress. My mind instinctively rejected this as a possibility for me. I couldn’t imagine lying in a hospital bed with machines beeping around me, hungry and thirsty, waiting for a doctor to guide me.
Honestly, I had no idea what I would do for several months, but I was certain this wouldn’t be it. I researched birth centers and found that my insurance wouldn’t cover the cost and they were overbooked. The options felt so limited. I started asking the doctors about ways to make the experience more pleasant; they only offered medications and shared the hospital policies that couldn’t be changed for me.
Discouraged
I was discouraged but didn’t give up. I talked to everyone I met, including strangers, hoping they knew something I didn’t. When I was six months pregnant, we booked a photoshoot, and the photographer became my next hope. I told him my concerns, and he immediately asked, “Why don’t you have the baby at home?” I thought he was crazy. I replied, “Because it is 2011 and we have modern medicine now.” The blinders I wore were thick. I complained about how much I hated the system but felt an odd loyalty to it. He gave us a number and encouraged me to at least talk to the midwife his wife worked with and see what I thought.
Calling the Midwife
With nothing to lose, I called her. My husband and I met with her that week. We approached her with doubt and a little fear. How could she ensure my or my baby’s safety at home? My husband, usually very shy and quiet, bombarded her with questions about my health. What if the baby needs oxygen? What if I tear?
The midwife, who was completely confident in her skills and experience, answered all his questions professionally. As I listened, I became more interested. She advised us to wait before making a decision and provided information on home birth. I dove in immediately.
After a few weeks of considering, talking, and praying, we decided to give birth at home with this amazing midwife. My husband was convinced it could be a good experience, but thoughts of what if something goes wrong continued to worry him. My mind, however, was made up.
We bought our birth kit, and I finally felt excited about giving birth. The rest of my pregnancy continued happily. On the day I was to give birth, my water broke in the morning, and I was so excited I smiled constantly. I had some time between contractions, which didn’t start right away. I was a bit surprised at how manageable they were, but I prepared my mind for the worst pain I ever felt, based on what others had told me.
That pain never came, but our baby girl did after 18 hours of labor and just four minutes of pushing. We did it! I was amazed it was finally over. Since then, we've had four more home births. I was always well-nourished, rested, and supported, and the postpartum care was unparalleled. The midwives returned to visit and sit with me for hours after birth.
Not that every woman needs to or should have a home birth. Parents should educate themselves about what is best for them rather than feeling pressured to do whatever they are told.
For women: the decision about how to give birth has a lasting impact on how we view ourselves and our bodies. It cannot be taken lightly. Don’t let someone else decide your and your baby’s journey for you. Be a part of the decision, and walk in it with confidence.