Cultivating connections across different cultures can lead to profound fulfillment when approached with openness.
North America has long been a melting pot of cultures as generations of immigrants have settled in the New World. However, the prevailing notion has been for people to stick to their own kind, both in social circles and romantic relationships.
While there have always been individuals who fell in love across racial or ethnic boundaries, there was a prevailing belief that such "mixed relationships" were destined to fail. Due to the discrimination and ostracism these couples faced, this often became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In recent years, attitudes have shifted, and society has become more accepting of racial and ethnic diversity in various spheres, including friendships, workplaces, and romantic partnerships. With this change in social attitudes, more people are seeking relationships beyond their own cultural boundaries, prioritizing compatibility based on personality rather than superficial traits like skin color or ethnic background.
Perspectives on Diversity
It seems that today's youth, particularly in urban areas, are largely accepting of differences in race and nationality. However, as highlighted by psychologists such as Hanieh Naeimi and her colleagues from the University of Toronto, there are varying attitudes toward diversity. They argue in a recent article published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships that people's beliefs about diversity can significantly impact the quality of their relationships.
Naeimi and her colleagues identify three main diversity ideologies:
1. Colorblindness: This perspective advocates for treating all individuals equally regardless of their cultural differences, which are seen as superficial. According to this view, people are fundamentally the same, and cultural differences should be overlooked. It encourages intercultural couples to ignore significant cultural differences between them.
2. Multiculturalism: This ideology recognizes cultural differences as real and significant but still values learning about and celebrating them. Unlike colorblindness, multiculturalism acknowledges culture as an integral part of an individual's identity, and cultural differences should be embraced rather than ignored. It encourages intercultural couples to maintain their own cultures while respecting each other's.
3. Polyculturalism: Similar to multiculturalism, polyculturalism acknowledges cultural differences as important but views culture as constantly evolving. It encourages intercultural couples to celebrate both cultures and even blend them together.
Overall, each of these diversity ideologies offers guidance on how intercultural couples should navigate sharing their cultures with each other, both in terms of expressing their own culture and accepting their partner's.
Impact of Diversity Ideologies on Intercultural Relationships
In three studies, Naeimi and her colleagues investigated how diversity ideologies affected relationship outcomes through the practice of cultural sharing.
Individuals who espoused colorblindness tended to be less accepting of their partner's culture, leading to lower satisfaction and more conflict in their relationship. Because they believe there are no significant differences between cultures, they may assume that their partner's culture is essentially the same as their own, which can come across as dismissive. This was less of an issue for couples whose cultures are similar, but conflict and dissatisfaction increase when cultures are more distant or if there has been significant historical discord between them.
In contrast, those who embraced multiculturalism showed greater acceptance of their partner's culture and were more willing to express their own. They acknowledged each other's cultures and traditions, leading to greater relationship satisfaction compared to those who embraced colorblindness.
However, the happiest relationships were those where partners endorsed polyculturalism. Not only did they respect each other's cultures, but they also engaged in each other's cultural activities and traditions. They enjoyed the food, music, and celebrations of both cultures.
Impact of Diversity Ideologies on Children of Intercultural Couples
The researchers also note that diversity ideologies have a significant impact on the identity development of the children of intercultural couples. When parents endorse colorblindness, the family's culture tends to align with the dominant culture of the society they live in, resulting in the loss of the other parent's cultural heritage for the children.
Similarly, children of parents who embrace multiculturalism may struggle with developing a sense of self-identity, as they may question whether they belong to their mother's or father's culture. Once again, they are likely to default to the culture of the society in which they live.
Only when parents embrace polyculturalism do children benefit from their parents' cultural diversity. These children grow up to be adults who can seamlessly navigate between cultures and feel comfortable in either one.
Living and loving in a diverse world requires embracing all three diversity ideologies. Colorblindness teaches us to treat all individuals equally regardless of their cultural background. Multiculturalism expands our awareness and acceptance of the rich and diverse traditions and practices of each culture. Lastly, polyculturalism encourages us to celebrate the various cultures of our friends and partners and even make them our own.