When you're exploring a new relationship, it's crucial to pay attention to certain signs.
The initial stages of dating can be thrilling and optimistic. Everything feels fresh and full of potential, and you're eagerly envisioning the future while pondering the many possibilities ahead. This is when people typically put forth their best efforts.
While it's natural to want to make a good impression on the person you're dating, there are key warning signs that might go unnoticed during the honeymoon phase. When you're falling for someone, you're more likely to overlook red flags and dismiss any concerns that may arise.
For any relationship to thrive, a foundation of mutual respect, trust, empathy, and effective communication must be present. Paying attention to the following factors while getting to know someone new can help you determine whether building a relationship based on these elements would be feasible with this individual and make an informed decision about how you want to proceed.
1. How they handle stress
Having healthy coping mechanisms for stress and being able to communicate effectively when feeling anxious about how your partner can support you are important.
Some individuals may be more prone to stress than others. The issue isn't whether they feel stressed, but rather how they respond to stress. Do they shut down and withdraw? Do they become unresponsive when you try to communicate? Do they vent their stress on you?
Because stress is a part of life, if someone's response to stress is to lash out at their partner or shut them out, it will eventually erode the connection over time.
2. How they communicate when angry
Observe how your partner behaves when they're angry. Do they become agitated and resort to blaming you or others? Do they raise their voice or engage in verbal abuse until they get their way? If you notice this pattern of behavior and it's not directed towards you, there's a good chance it will be in the future.
3. How they react to rejection or boundaries
A person's true intentions can be revealed during the early stages of dating when you set a boundary or they don't get what they want from you. If you say no to something they expect you to do, are they open and willing to work with you towards a solution, or do they become pushy, resentful, or try to manipulate you into complying with their wishes?
4. Consistency between words and actions
When you're still getting to know someone, there's a level of trust that needs to be built. Part of that trust is knowing that when someone tells you they will follow through with something or expresses their feelings, their actions will align with their words. If someone says they like you but seldom contacts you or frequently cancels plans at the last minute, do their actions match their words? During the early stages of dating, it's beneficial to consider what their actions are conveying to you.
5. Your body's response to their presence
While feeling butterflies on the first date is common, pay attention to how you feel after spending a few dates with someone. Do you feel calm or jittery? Do you feel anxious or at ease? If you're feeling anxious, consider whether you've experienced this same feeling before and if so, with whom. Tuning into your body can provide valuable insights while dating someone new.
6. Their attitude towards exes and others
The way someone talks about their ex and other people can provide enlightening information. Do they early on label one or more of their exes as "crazy"? Do they frequently speak negatively about others? While it's understandable for someone to have negative feelings towards their exes or people who have wronged them, how they discuss these matters is important to pay attention to. If there's a consistent pattern of them blaming others and portraying everyone else but them as being "wrong", this likely indicates a lack of accountability and self-reflection on their part.
7. Reliability and consistency
As the relationship progresses, do you find their behavior to be consistent, or are you often left feeling uncertain because you don't know when they'll respond or initiate plans? Are they hot and cold, showing affection one moment and then quickly withdrawing without explanation? For you to feel secure in a relationship, you need to believe that the person you're with is reliable and you can count on them.