Here are signs that someone could be love bombing you.
Love bombing occurs when someone showers excessive praise and affection at a pace that outweighs the current stage of a relationship, aiming to manipulate the person they’re dating into committing quickly.
Initially, love bombing may feel like stepping into an incredible fantasy. Especially in the early stages of dating when many struggle with genuine connection or vulnerability, someone love bombing you might feel like a breath of fresh air. However, if it feels like you’re connecting with someone you like and they’re seeking commitment, why not enjoy it? The problem with love bombing is that it makes you ignore warning signs and prioritize a dreamy relationship over your own well-being.
When someone love bombs you, you only see what they want you to see. It’s usually a carefully crafted facade, which doesn’t give you an accurate view of what a relationship with this person will actually be like. In this case, the old saying, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is,” feels relevant. Think of love bombing like the highlight reel on Instagram where only a person’s best moments are showcased, but none of their vulnerabilities, fears, or imperfections are revealed.
If you’re dating someone new, consider the following 10 warning signs that they might be love bombing you.
1. The pace feels fast
If the pace feels rushed while you’re dating someone new, that’s a sign to slow down and reflect so you can assess where that feeling is coming from.
When you’re excited about someone new, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement, ignoring important warning signs and red flags at a crucial time.
2. They engage in future faking
When you’re still in the initial stages of getting to know someone and they’re making future plans with you, initially it can feel refreshing that someone is being intentional with you. But it can also create a false sense of security, which is why you need to focus on the person in front of you and not their projected future.
You don’t know this person well enough to know if their actions align with their words yet or if they’re just presenting a facade for you to become attached before they reveal their true self. Future faking involves discussing plans like traveling, getting married, meeting their family, or moving in together within the first few weeks of dating, with little intention of seeing it all through to fruition.
“Signs of future faking include saying things like ‘I can’t wait to be with you forever’ or ‘We’ll have a wonderful family.’”
3. If several people you trust are worried about how quickly your relationship is progressing, it could be a red flag
Everyone has different relationship experiences and preferences, so what one person shares with you may not carry a lot of weight. However, when people you trust and care about and who know you well start to express concern about the pace of a new relationship, it’s important to take the time to consider their concerns and whether they might see something you don’t.
4. They mirror you
Mirroring is a manipulation tactic love bombers use that involves mirroring your values and interests in an attempt to get closer to you and convince you of their compatibility with you.
Interest in your needs and interests is a great quality in a partner, but it’s important to distinguish between someone who is genuinely curious about you and also sharing about themselves versus someone who is carefully observing your reactions and mirroring back to you what they think you want.
If the person you’re dating seems to like all the same things you do and states that they want the same kind of lifestyle you do, it’s important to see if their actions are aligned with everything they’re saying to you.
5. They lavish you with extravagant romantic gestures
Lavish romantic gestures like whisking you off on a spontaneous vacation or buying you extravagant gifts can feel exhilarating initially. However, if these extravagant gestures don’t match the stage of your relationship and seem like they belong on a dating show rather than real life, be cautious that the other person may not have the best intentions and may be trying to expedite the natural process of forming a bond with you.
6. Your attempts to slow down are met with resistance
If you’re not feeling right about how fast your relationship is going and want to take it slower, watch how your partner reacts. Are they defensive? Do they shut down or blame you? Will they close it down or shift the situation against you? Their response can be telling about whether their goal is to consider your needs or if they’re solely focused on what they want.
7. They shower you with excessive praise or compliments that don’t feel personalized to you
When someone is love bombing their object of affection, they aim to create a deep bond quickly, and they will spare no effort to do so. Pay attention to the praise and compliments you’re receiving. Do they feel genuine and personalized to you, or is the praise generic and could apply to anyone?
For example, a love bomber might say from the start, “You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” or “You’re perfect; no one else compares.”
8. Their displays of affection feel disproportionate to the stage of the relationship
If a love bomber tells you they love you or makes statements such as, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone,” or “My life would feel meaningless without you” within a few weeks of meeting, tread carefully: These statements may indicate that they’re trying to accelerate your connection prematurely.
9. They expect to either be in constant contact with you or see you a lot, often leaving no room for other activities or friendships
A love bomber wants to secure you quickly and isolate you so they can overwhelm you with constant contact, leaving little room for anything else in your life. This serves two purposes: They establish a deep bond with you quickly, and they isolate you in a way that if others do express concern about your relationship, it will be harder for you to end it because you’re already deeply invested.
10. They uplift you only to bring you crashing down
Love bombers will initially admire you as they try to create an illusion of intimacy quickly. However, once they know that a partner is fully invested in the relationship, their true nature will start to show. Once the switch is flipped, they begin to criticize and belittle their partner, aiming to erode their self-esteem over time so they can be fully in control.
While it’s possible that someone may be genuinely excited about you and engage in some of these behaviors without the intention of love bombing, you need to pay attention to how these behaviors make you feel and notice if there’s a pattern of behavior that makes you question their intentions.