5 Types of Narcissistic Parent Abuse That You May Be Experiencing
The #1 Most Common: Emotional
There are five types of narcissistic parent abuse that you
may be experiencing. The most common form is emotional abuse, which can be
either verbal or non-verbal. Verbal abuse includes name-calling, putting you
down, mocking, and belittling you. Non-verbal abuse includes ignoring you or
giving the cold shoulder for extended periods. It could also include refusing
to give an explanation when asked about something important or pretending not
to understand what you're saying. Threats of physical harm are considered
emotional abuse as well.
It's worth noting that abusive parents don't always intend
to cause their children harm; sometimes they just think they know best and want
what's best for them. But in reality, this type of parental behavior will do
more harm than good in a child's life because it breaks trust, creates a lack
of self-worth and leaves them feeling like they have no voice.
It can also make them feel like they're responsible for
their parent's happiness because if there isn't any happiness then it must be
their fault. And even if these kids grow up knowing this isn't true, it doesn't
stop the fact that there was at one point a time where they thought this was
true.
2) The #2 Most Common: Verbal
The #2 most common type of narcissistic parent abuse is
verbal. Verbal narcissistic abuse is any form of communication that is used to
control, manipulate, and coerce somebody into thinking or doing what the abuser
wants. One type is withholding information: refusing to tell your child where
you're going when you're leaving the house. Another example includes telling
your child they are good for nothing and will never amount to anything in life.
The final way in which a person can be abused by their
parents with narcissistic personality disorder is through lack of
accountability. We all know how important it is to take responsibility for our
actions; unfortunately this doesn't happen with abusers because they constantly
blame others for their problems and refuse to take responsibility themselves.
3) The #3 Most Common: Threats
The #3 most common type of narcissist abuse involves
threats. There are many ways that narcissistic parents will threaten you, but
it all comes down to power and control. For example, they may tell you that
they'll withdraw their financial support or kick you out if you don't conform.
They may threaten to break up your family by cutting off contact with one or
more family members.
4) The #4 Most Common: Humiliation
One type of invisible narcissistic abuse is humiliation.
Humiliation can take many forms, such as being blamed for the narcissist's
problems or being told that you're too sensitive. The problem with this form of
abuse is that it can go on for years and you may never realize what's
happening. This makes it especially difficult to heal from. If your
narcissistic parent keeps telling you that there's something wrong with you
then eventually, even if they don't believe it themselves, you might start to
believe them. If a narcissistic parent tells their children There's something
wrong with me then the child might start believing there must be something
wrong with me too. Another way in which an abuser will use humiliation is by
making fun of their children and pointing out things about them that are
different than other people. The most common thing I've heard from clients who
experienced this was a comment about their weight: I'm fat like my mother or
You're stupid because you look like your dad.
5) The #5 Most Common: Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser
wants to feel in control and will do anything to achieve that. This abusive
tactic can make you feel like you are going insane and become so wrapped up in
the gaslighter’s games that you start doubting your sanity. It is important to
remember that this type of abuse is about power and control, not about love or
caring.
The abuser may say something such as You did this! or I
never said that! when confronted with evidence contrary to what they have said.
Then, when you point out the inconsistencies in their story, they accuse you of
playing mind games with them. They might even use false apologies to try and
manipulate you into believing that it's all in your head. If you find yourself
feeling unsure of what reality is anymore, it could be a sign of gaslighting.